Hi Carrie – I think you totally made the right call in being up front with your vaginismus! Back when I still had vaginismus and was dating, I was really embarrassed and often put off telling the people I was seeing about it until the final crucial moment, and looking back I don’t think it was the best way to handle it. If you tell people up front, you have more control of how you deliver and frame that information. For example, you can say “hey, I’m not able to be penetrated because of a medical condition I have, but I’m still a sexual person and really look forward to exploring other things together that feel good.” You can also let the person know whether you’re actively seeking treatment for the issue or not. Empowering yourself more in taking charge of what you want to tell your potential sexual partners will likely leave you feeling less like you have something to apologize for, which you shouldn’t have to feel!