First of all, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with the dreaded vaginismus! But absolutely you can find love! My husband and I were together for 6 years before I was able to cure my vaginismus. And yes you’re right, your first time experience could indeed have made you believe in your head that sex is associated with pain, triggering your PC muscles to clam shut on the penis or anything upon penetration. I completely understand your frustration with dating, I was always worried my husband would leave me and I’d never find love until it got fixed but that’s just not true 🙂 Men will you surprise you! But sex is a wonderful thing, it’s fun and feels great and is the best when you’re with someone you trust. Every woman deserves to have penetration be an option. I really think you should get yourself a dilating kit and begin physical therapy at home. 20 minutes a day, in and out movements as many days of the week as you can. They start very small! This will help you slowly strengthen those muscles and give them a good stretch so you can achieve amazing penetration! 🙂 You can do this AND you can find love! Vaginismus is annoying as it is, don’t allow it to fear you away from dating, or anything for that matter. You can already insert a small vibrator which is incredible!! I feel as though you would rock it at dilating!