I’m so sorry you’re dealing with vaginismus, and so sorry you don’t have the support you deserve. I think what the ladies said above is square on! I also think it might help if you find yourself an article online or even a book that could help your husband truly understand what you’re going through. And you guys could read it together. Like Ressesivegenequeen said, it takes how long it takes. Vaginismus cannot be rushed, cannot meet a deadline, and cannot be resented away. I think the main problem is the lack of understanding. And in that lack of understanding, your feelings aren’t being validated and I’m sure your husbands feeling like his aren’t being validated either. Couples counseling would be very beneficial, but if not an option,I think a very long talk is in order. Sometimes it’s just a lack of knowledge on vaginismus.
Aside from that, I want you to know that you are an incredibly strong woman and you can do whatever you set your mind to! I know you can overcome vaginismus!! Listen to your body, go at a pace that makes you feel comfortable and always remember to be your own cheerleader. Vaginismus is tough, not impossible to beat, but tough and deadlines are not possible.