Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Made lots of progress, but struggling with transitioning Reply To: Made lots of progress, but struggling with transitioning

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Heather
Participant

Hello Piscean77!
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on all your success!! I’m so happy for you!! Transitioning to sex is weird in the beginning. When I was overcoming vaginismus, I was told by Melissa that it is ideal to be able to dilate with a dilator that is bigger than your partners penis. That way, when you transition to sex, getting his penis in there won’t hurt because your body is capable of bigger! Also when you transition to sex it’s so much easier when you dilate beforehand. Use more time dilating going in and out with the dilator to simulate sex and when you feel ready enough, remove the dilator and have your husband follow the same rythm you had when you were dilating. Sex will feel kind of lame in the beginning, dilating beforehand may or may not be something you enjoy doing as foreplay but the more you dilate and have sex, eventually you will no longer need to dilate before sex. 🙂 But it certainly helps tremendously! Dilating prepares your body for the penis and having a really good lube is key too. The right lube can make a world of difference! And the correct position is tricky too! This is a learning experience for you and your husband. You’ll both need to learn through trial and error what works best for you two! I know it seems frustrating, but it actually is a wonderful opportunity to bond on a completely different level and very soon it will become lots of fun and you two will share a new life involving sex that you never could have imagined! 🙂 I’m rooting for you!! You’re so close keep up the amazing work!!