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Hello abstractallie! Welcome to the forum! I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with vaginismus. Just know that it is very much curable and you can do this!! You’ll want to dilate every day, or as close to every day as you can for about 20-30 minutes. I think if you do your research and look over reviews, you can find yourself a really good dilating set. I got mine from Maze, it’s called Pure Romance and in my opinion they are very good quality! Make sure that if you are dilating with a silicone dilator, do not use silicone lube as the lube will eat away at your dilator. You’ll want to use lots of lube during dilation so you don’t get the dreaded friction pain, so find a lube that your body tolerates! And when you begin dilating, remember not to rush your body. This is a process, not a race so be patient with yourself and never move up in size until your current dilator is easy peasy! 🙂 And don’t forget to breathe! And I second what LPoppy said. When you begin having sex, it’s so important to have someone you trust and someone who will be gentle and caring to you and your body and your needs. It’ll be a learning experience to find out what you like and what you don’t. And what positions are comfortable and uncomfortable. There is a lot of knowledge here in the forum. There is an entire section dedicated to dilating. I highly suggest reading some of the posts in there 🙂 There are a lot of questions that have been covered. Don’t be shy! Keep us posted and we’re here for you the entire way through! You got this!