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Hi Seekingu! It sounds like you’re already making good emotional progress – it’s okay for you to not tell your current partner everything at once, you are starting to open up and that counts for a lot.

Also, in a funny coincidence, since I last responded to your post I have started having the same issue as you. I know it’s because I went on the pill and have started letting my partner ejaculate inside me, and something about his sperm causes me pain after the fact that didn’t happen when we were having sex with condoms. If you’re having sex without a barrier like condoms, that could be the source of the pain – which presents you with a few different options and strategies if it’s the same case. If you want to have sex more than once a day (say it’s your anniversary or you’re on vacation or whatever) you can try using condoms and see if that helps, or you can also ask your partner not to ejaculate inside you. I’ve found that putting coconut oil on my vagina after sex when there’s pain is soothing somewhat. I want to try using coconut oil itself as lube but haven’t done it yet. This might not be your issue but is probably worth investigating if it can help your pain! Also, I recommend telling your partner even if you do want to keep having the kind of sex with your partner that you’re currently having. It causes me pain when my partner ejaculates inside me, but it also feels emotionally close so I don’t want to cut it out of our routine entirely, but it’s helped to have him know that I’m in pain and just be present for me in that. I think no matter what you decide to do you’ll feel better if you don’t feel like you have to hide that.