Hi Helen – thanks for checking in! As it happens I ended up breaking up with that partner recently. Not just because of this separation, but being quarantined apart definitely revealed some issues emotionally in the relationship and really brought them to the forefront of the relationship whereas prior they had been something I could push into the background.
Something that keeps being revealed to me again and again is that this pandemic and quarantine are having more of an effect on me than I’m letting myself believe and it’s happening in ways I wouldn’t have expected. I hope that everyone currently in a partnership is making a lot of space for patience and grace for themselves and just how hard this has been. I’d be stunned if anyone’s relationship is proceeding as normal right now.
Ester Perel, a relationship expert and researcher, gave an enlightening interview that addresses the different ways couples respond to quarantine and I suggest anyone read it who’s trying to muddle through these times.
I’ve had to let go of the idea that day-to-day existence will be normal anytime soon or that I can put my life on hold to wait for that to happen. That’s hard and I’m still struggling to grasp knowing that intellectually versus believing it emotionally, but I know we have no choice right now but to find ways to keep going.