Hi Sienna2020 – welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing your story! Everyone’s experience is different and you definitely sound like you have some form of vaginismus or even just a lot of tension and anxiety that’s carried in your vaginal muscles. I agree with Melissa – it sounds like you’d benefit from dilation just to relax the muscles and feel more control over penetration and your body. It will help your confidence and strength to be able to get gynecological exams, use tampons, and do whatever else you need to do in the future. Let us know how it goes and if you have any questions along the way! I’ve felt the uncertainty you’re feeling and it sucks, but you can get through it and build a healthier life. Wishing you well!