Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Next Steps in Dilation and Dating Reply To: Next Steps in Dilation and Dating


Hey girl! I’m sorry to hear that you have thee dreaded Vaginismus! But it is curable! I think that physical therpay and dilating is a great approach!! As for how often to dilate, I’d say nearly every day! Of course it’s okay to take a few days break every so often, as you may be sore at times. When I first started dilating, after my BOTOX procedure, I was issued lidocaine to mix with my lube to make dilating less painful until I got used to it and got more comfortable with it. Maybe you could ask your Gyno or PT for some! It helped me tremendously. Dilating up in sizes is supposed to be uncomfortable, but doable. It’s going to hurt a little because you’re stretching your muscles but it shouldn’t be excruciating. Dilate with each size until you’re 100% comfortable with that size to the point where it becomes easy for you, then move up in size. You could also Google stretches to loosen up those pelvic floor muscles, there’s a couple easy yoga stretches that help a lot! Also, Google dilating breathing techniques to help open up your vagina. It works so well! Basically you breathe in deep and blow your stomach up instead of your chest and once you can’t take anymore air in, insert the dilator. Hold for a sec to get adjusted with it in there, and while you exhale you can slowly pull your dilator out, but not all the way. Then repeat!

As for conversations with men about this topic, me personally, I’d tell them right off the bat. 1- They’ll tell you right away if they’re willing to be with you or not and 2- I think it could save your feelings from being hurt. You don’t want to get involved with someone and then they find out about it and leave. A great guy will see how wonderful you are, and will accept you how you are and will be willing to work with you! 🙂 But don’t be afraid to date! You deserve to happy and live your life to the fullest, don’t let vaginismus stop you from having great meals and conversations with new people! I married my husband before we even cured my vaginismus.

And if you ever feel stuck, or you can’t make anymore progress, the ladies at Maze can take great care of you! Give it a good fair shot with your PT and dilating, but if you can’t keep going I highly recommend the BOTOX procedure!!

I hope this helps!