Reply To: spontaneous sex

[Jennifer Dembo, LMSW]

Hi gls1114 – thanks so much for your question!

First of all, congrats on being able to successfully have intercourse! Secondly, I totally understand how having to dilate prior in advance can put a damper on the mood.

You are the boss of your body, and you can decide if you want to try penetrative sex without dilating first. However – and I can’t stress this enough – EVERYONE is different. Women have their own unique structural anatomy, arousal level may vary, anxiety might play a role (it can tense muscles and shut desire down). Understanding these factors will help you make the best choices going forward.

If you do ultimately decide to have intercourse sans dilation here are some things to keep in mind:

-DO use lots of lube
-DO manage your expectations – your first few attempts may not go smoothly, and that’s okay. This is a time to explore and learn more about your body
-DO take it very slowly – be patient with yourself and make sure your boyfriend is prepared to be patient as well

If you need any further guidance or ideas RE: how to spice things up should it be necessary/ preferred to continue with dilation before penetration, don’t hesitate to give us a call at Maze.