Eye contact matters.

I think you can feel seen and known and loved when someone really looks you in the eye. A recent article in the New York Times titled, “Pssst. Look Over Here” by Kate Murphy, explores the importance of eye contact. “Only actual eye contact fully activates those parts of the brain that allow us to …

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How to love, and books that can help.

In my last blog entry, I talked about a hypothetical college course teaching young adults how to love. The more I think about this idea the more vital I think it is. Because so many marriages end in divorce wouldn’t it be helpful if young people had more education and guidance around such an important …

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Attachment theory and addiction.

As any reader of my blogs know, I am obsessed with attachment theory. The basic reason being that I think it makes so much sense of relationships. For so long I thought love and relationships were mysterious and miraculous. I still think a relationship that works well is pretty much miraculous but the reason why …

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A course on how to love?

An interesting article was published recently in the New York Times proposing that it might be beneficial for college age students to attend a class about how to love. Many might think this is ridiculous but a lot of research is showing that the future generations are plugged in to screens and not each other. …

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The Ziegarnik Effect.

John Gottman’s new book “What Makes Love Last” focuses on trust and betrayal. John Gottman is a couples therapist who does a great deal of research on what enables couples to maintain long term intimacy. He has written several books and this is his latest. In his book he discusses the Ziegarnik Effect. In the …

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Feelings, colors and your body.

As a therapist I sometimes ask a patient where in their body they feel an emotion. By identifying the feeling in one’s body we can sometimes get more connected to ourselves. The experience  can be both grounding and validating. Several studies have come out recently proving that there is some universality as  to how and …

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A satisfying sex life without orgasms?

Anorgasmia is the inability to have orgasms. A small part of the female population suffers from this condition. A more wide spread issue we see here is women complaining that their orgasms are weaker and/or more difficult to achieve. Sometimes these issues can be treated easily by increasing dopamine and using a strong vibrator. However, …

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“Quiet — The Power Of Introverts.”

I am writing yet another blog about introversion because it seems to me to be such an important aspect of who someone is. Author, Susan Cain, in her book Quiet, explains that the distinction between introverts and extroverts is born out of how one deals with stimulation. Cain clarifies that the term introvert describes a …

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Sex after cancer.

I see many women who are cancer survivors. Most of them feel that their post cancer sexual selves were never addressed. In fact, many were told, “you should be happy to be alive”, insinuating that they should stop focusing on any sexual dysfunction caused by cancer treatment. It is often very upsetting for them to …

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