Vaginismus is a condition where the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina involuntarily spasm. This makes penetration of any kind painful, difficult or seemingly impossible. There tends to be a fear component as well. Searching for the reason you have vaginismus is usually pointless. What’s not pointless is getting treatment because it’s very treatable. It takes dilators, support, resolve and sometimes a bit of Botox to be cured.
If you are single and wondering if it’s worth going through treatment if you don’t have a partner, my response is a resounding Yes! When intercourse if off the table many women feel there’s no sense in pursuing a relationship and on the flip side, they may see no sense in pursuing treatment because they are not in a relationship or attempting intercourse. Caveat: there are many ways to be intimate, connected, and sexual that don’t involve intercourse, but I digress!
At Maze we see a lot of women with vaginismus many of whom are without a partner. There can be advantages to getting treatment even though you currently may not be attached. Treating vaginismus is not just a means to having pain free intercourse (of course that’s a fine goal), it’s also a matter of health. Treating vaginismus gives you more autonomy over your body as you familiarize yourself with your vulva/vagina and gain confidence and self- knowledge. Being able to insert a tampon and not miss out on a pool party or a day at the beach is not a small thing. Being able to tolerate a Gyn exam is huge. Being single and treating vaginismus enables you to not have to concern yourself with the issue of self- disclosure to a partner. You can prioritize yourself and move at your own pace without the pressure of considering someone else’s timeline. We will prepare you for intercourse even if there’s no partner in sight. There’s certainly no need to wait to have a partner to come for treatment – you are doing this for yourself.