Let’s talk about sex.

I treat many women with different issues from low desire to painful intercourse. One issue that women seem to struggle a great deal with is feeling insecure or inadequate. This can have a profound impact on one’s sexuality because instead of feeling confident and positive, when these things surface it often shuts a woman down. This in turn can make a partner feel badly and often both retreat and feel isolated.

The way out of this cycle is fairly simple. It starts with communication. I find that both men and women seem to feel that their sexual experiences should be both seamless and without awkwardness. I have found that when talking about sex this couldn’t be further from the truth. People are complicated and idiosyncratic and so are their sexual preferences. I think our culture as a whole and movies in particular make people think sex is supposed to be a perfectly orchestrated dance where one’s partner can read the others’ mind and no one is ever physically uncomfortable or tired or cranky. Not true! I believe great sex is possible at any age and in most circumstances but it often requires a great deal of communication, particularly if you want it to be satisfying. Our bodies are changing all the time and so are our likes and dislikes. Sex between two people might not look like it does in the movies but I think ultimately it can feel like it. It just takes a bit of tenacity and a lot of talking.

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