Ever notice the facial expressions of little girls dressing up as princesses?
You won’t hear self-deprecating talk about whether they have the right figure to be a princess. Or if they need hair extensions to pull off the look. Or if they look royal despite missing a few teeth. What matters is that they feel beautiful and have no inhibition in embracing the feeling.
If only that confidence and ease could make it to adulthood.
For many women, feeling beautiful and feeling sexy go hand-in-hand, but the culture we live in makes it very difficult for women to feel adequate physically. For some women, this translates into insecurity in the bedroom and feeling like they don’t have the right to have sexual needs because they aren’t perfected enough physically.
If you find it hard to drop your conditions for considering yourself beautiful and sexy, try to pretend for a moment that you’ve already met those conditions and you are perfect exactly the way you are. Bask in that confidence and the permission to feel comfortable with your body just the way it is. Does it feel wrong? Unjustified? Arrogant?
See what comes up for you. For some women, doing this exercise allows them to identify messages about their body that they received from family members, relationship partners, or society in general. It can help clarify personal core beliefs about what is beautiful, sexy, and who decides. And most importantly, it is a powerful reminder that negative body beliefs can shift when you are willing to challenge your mindset and the mirror.