I gave a lecture on Female Sexuality and Empowerment to a group of college students the other day. To my surprise, there were more men than women in the group. As the group was smaller in size than expected, we were able to have a more interactive discussion. The group was enthusiastic about learning about female sexuality, especially when the discussion turned towards orgasm and the ways in which women can experience an orgasm.
When I asked the question, “What percentage of women experience an orgasm during intercourse?” I got many different answers. The men seemed pretty confident in their answers of 80-90% while the women sat smirking and shaking their heads no. One brave woman raised her hand and said, “I think it’s much lower, like 30%!” This time the men smirked.
Well, the young woman was right! Many of the male’s jaws dropped open when I explained that only 30% of women experience an orgasm during intercourse, while the other females look relieved.
Although it may seem like a dysfunction, it’s not. Quite simply, male and female bodies are different. Men derive great pleasure when their penis is stimulated; women derive great pleasure when their clitoris is stimulated. I handed out a picture detailing female anatomy and made sure everyone knew where the clitoris was located. There are more nerve endings in the clitoris than there are in the tip of the penis. There are far fewer nerve endings inside the vagina so it only makes sense that a woman’s clitoris is the main source for orgasm. During intercourse the clitoris is usually not stimulated. The closer your clitoris is to the entrance to the vagina the greater the chance you have of having an orgasm during intercourse, but for the great majority of females, this just isn’t the case.
I had brought with me several types of vibrators and after the giggles quieted down, I discussed the differences between battery operated and plug-in vibrators. I discussed that many women can achieve orgasm from using a vibrator and how they can be incorporated during intercourse. The same young woman blurted out, “…so it just makes sense to use a vibrator during intercourse then, right?”
I couldn’t help but smile, “Yes, yes it does.”