Is orgasm important?

This always come up. How important is having an orgasm to a woman’s sexual experience? I get asked it time and again and I’m never quite sure how to answer the question.

On the one hand the politically correct answer seems to be “oh, no. Don’t be so orgasm focused, sex is about a wide range of pleasure, and orgasm is really only one measure. We’ve become too orgasm — and goal focused in our society . Think of orgasm as just one of the many pleasures sex has to hold.”

Okay — so that’s the politically correct answer. Now what do I really and truly think?

I’m not sure.

On the one hand, I think it’s true that, as a society, we have gotten fairly goal oriented in our sexual behavior. On the other hand most women will tell you that sexual activity without an orgasm at the end can be incredibly frustrating, not really very different from a guy who doesn’t ejaculate during his sexual activity.

Also, the studies I’ve seen seem to suggest that there is a significant correlation between women who have orgasm and the frequency of sexual encounters during their life. Basically the women who have orgasms have more sex.

For women who have regular orgasms that’s no surprise. Most of them would look at you as though you had three heads if you suggested sex without orgasm on a regular basis. Are you nuts? That’s the best part!

So I guess when push comes to shove, I’m solidly in the “pro-orgasm” camp. I think sex is much better for women who have orgasms, I think most women can be taught to have orgasms without too much work and I think that all things being equal, orgasm is an important part of sex. I also think that suggesting otherwise is a bit patronizing to women.

However, I’ll temper my statements, as I often do… like everything else, the preference for orgasm is individual. Just have fun.

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