Sex and pregnancy — the male perspective.

A lot has been written about sex and pregnancy from the female perspective. Often women feel awful in the first trimester, better and possibly fabulous in the second trimester and huge in the third trimester. These are obviously generalizations, but on the whole this is what many women experience. And as these changes ebb and flow, hormones, desire, body image and sexual activity do too. Some women find their interest in sex increases during pregnancy; some women find their interest in sex to be non-existent during pregnancy.

But what are the male partners going through while all these changes are afoot. It obviously varies. Some men find their pregnant partners sexy, and some men find it difficult to adjust to the differences and so see ‘pregnant sex’ as unappealing. It is likely that all men worry that they will not have enough any sexual activity while their wives or partners are pregnant

Firstly, sex is safe during pregnancy. Unless a women has a complicated pregnancy their will be no harm to the fetus from sexual activity. Positions can get more complicated as the belly grows but with creativity and flexibility satisfying sex is still possible. Oral sex is always an option too.

The emotional and psychological aspects of staying connected to a life partner through pregnancy and early parenting is a bit more complicated. I suggest a lot of communication. Pregnancy is a great time to practice openness and connection. Couples are about to begin a new chapter in their relationship, where the focus as individuals and as a couple will shift to the child. This can be a rocky transition and the more in-tune people are to one another, the smoother this transition can be. Sex is a great way to help people feel close and stay connected.

But communicating clearly is vital too. Sometimes men feel shut out of this new transition. Women are experiencing all the changes first hand. And men may feel as though they are experiencing the pregnancy, and it’s exciting or even unsettling changes, from afar. And the changes going on with a wife or partner may in fact feel like a loss. A loss of his partner the way she was and a loss of the relationship as it was before the child. This is all natural and understandable. My suggestion is to keep talking and keep touching. Having a child together is the most profound thing two people can ever do together so continue the adventure together. Stay connected and keep communicating.

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