As a clinician at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality I hear many, many women struggle with their self image. Patients wonder how they can feel “sexy” when they don’t feel good about their bodies. There is no easy answer to this question. Just as each woman must explore her likes and dislikes sexually, each woman must work towards increased self acceptance. The process can begin with re-focusing on small things that you like about yourself. And you don’t need to feel great about your body to have great sex.
My goal is to teach women to turn down the volume on their own judgments. If these negative, critical voices can be tuned out and the focus can be on pleasure, a great sexual experience is always possible. Often our partners are not judgmental. Most men care far less about how their partner looks and much more about creating an intimate connection.
It may not be easy to overcome strong societal forces telling women to look and act a certain way. However, with focus and determination to be your best self and to create the most satisfying, fulfilling sexual experiences, you can take small steps towards self acceptance and slowly begin to see yourself in a more positive light.