Why I’m not as crazy as I thought.

The following is a blog entry written by a patient at MCFS. Later this week we will post another entry by the same patient, reporting on her progress. This was written in October 2009.

For about 14 years now I have been told constantly that things are in my head. Stomach cramps — must be stress, acne — must be stress, extreme exhaustion — stress, canker sores — stress, breathing issues — stress, and most recently, no interest in sex — stress and depression.

But recently, for the first time in my life, someone found a real reason something was going wrong. And I could not be happier.

My life in general is amazing. I have a loving doting husband, two beautiful children, a wonderful home, and a fine job. And yet, depression, being overweight, exhaustion and a low sex drive have plagued my life. With some strong encouragement from my husband, who is tired of feeling physically and sexually rejected, I went to the Medical Center for Female Sexuality. And, for the first time, someone checked my hormone levels. No one before had ever thought to stick a needle in my arm and actually see what was going on in there. They just made me pop pills and sit in front of therapists and talk and talk and talk. None of which did much except put band-aids over the problems and cause me to doubt myself more and more. With each passing day I would feel less competent, less self-confident, and more sure that I was just crazy, that many of the simple pleasures in life were out of my grasp and this was my destiny.

But yesterday that all changed.

Yesterday 2 doctors sat me down and showed me my lab results. My hormones are a mess. My thyroid is inactive and I have almost no testosterone. There is something wrong with me! I cried the whole way home for the office, grateful to God that there is an end in sight.

The journey ahead will be difficult, hormone therapy will be tough and I’m not so excited about the potential side effects. But it will all be worth it.

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