There are so many fun things to do with your partner that can bring you closer together, that doesnt always end in intercourse. These “fun things” are usually referred to as foreplay, a word most of us in the sexuality field hate! Because it insinuates that those “fun things” only have BEFORE the real event, Intercourse. There is a great scene in Kinsey, where Dr. Kinsey meets with two college students who are married and experiencing sexual difficulty. The woman is experiencing some difficulty getting aroused and even says, “I’m dead down there.” When Kinsey asks the husband if they stimulate each others genitals with hands or provide genital kissing, also known as oral sex, the husband responds, “Why bother, now that we can do the real thing.”
Do you remember the time in your life where you could just make out for hours at a time, or have oral sex in the car with the slight fear of getting caught? And didn’t that make it so much more fun!? Try to include oral sex and hand stimulation as THE EVENT, not just the precursor to sex, but sex itself. Even though you can do the “real thing” don’t forget to incorporate what got you there in the first place.